Just finished reading Larry King's latest book 'Truth Be Told'. The last chapter is about comedians, and I thought I'd pass on a couple jokes I found particularly funny.
From George Carlin:
A Catholic kid goes into confession. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Yes, son, what did you do?" "I cannot say." "You must confess, or I cannot give you absolution." "Well, Father, I had relations with a young girl." "I will forgive you. But who was the young girl?" "Sorry, Father I cannot betray a confidence." "It would help a lot to give forgiveness if I knew who the young girl was. Was it Angela Latrice?" "I cannot say, Father." "Was it Betty Santangelo?" "I cannot say." "OK, your absolved, but for four months you cannot be an altar boy." The kid comes out of the confessional box and his friend asks, "What happened?" The kid says, "I got two great leads and I don't have to work for four months!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
King writes of Steven Wright:
I'm still amazed by creativity. After all these years, I haven't heard it all. I can still hear something new that makes me laugh. Steven Wright's mind is in another league. "Doesn't it bother you that Monopoly has only one manufacturer?" Monopoly is a monopoly. What made him think of that? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Craig Ferguson:
Craig is from Scotland. I once asked him, "What's under a kilt?" He didn't miss a beat. "On a good day," he said, "lipstick."
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